Middle School Sucks
by HellsAngelJCV
Summary: Every kid has a hard time in Middle School, and it's no different for Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman... Re-Written from script to novel format. Rated R for language.
1. Chapter One: The First Day

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own South Park! If I did, the show would suck so much, it wouldn't be funny at ALL! So let's all thank the lord for people like Trey Parker and Matt Stone before continuing, and then at the end of this chapter ask them to forgive me for my horrible attempt at a fic...  
  
**Note:** Ok, so just drilled it into the world's brain that script format isn't allowed, so now I'm re-writing my script fics. This is the new-and-novelly-improved first chapter of Middle School Sucks Ass. It was a bitch to re-write, since I was constantly getting confused at whether I should do past or present tense, and I still randomly switch sometimes. Oh well. Anyway, this fic follows Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman from the beginning of seventh grade until the end of eighth grade. It will be dramatic at times, but I want it to be humorous too. But prepare yourselves because it's not going to be all 'Happy Happy Joy Joy'._  
  
**Chapter One: The First Day**  
  
The school year had come around in South Park, and there was already snow on the ground. The four boys were standing by the bus stop wearing warm coats and talking to each other. The sun hadn't even risen all the way, and they could hardly see fifteen feet in front of them. It was their first day of seventh grade, and they were all slightly nervous.  
  
"This is fucking gay, dude," Cartman said, his hands stuffed in his pockets.  
  
Kenny looked at him, his blonde hair hanging in his eyes. "Which part?"  
  
"All of it!" Cartman said, yawning. "Having to get up an hour earlier, being the worst of it."  
  
Kyle rolled his eyes at his fat friend. "Haven't you even thought about how _hard_ middle school is supposed to be? Once you go in there..."  
  
"Shelley says they beat you until you're a zombie that only sits and takes notes all day," said Stan worriedly.  
  
"Stan, seriously," said Cartman incredulously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you actually believe you're sister? She obviously has enough of a mind left to beat the crap out of you," Cartman said pointedly.  
  
"She stopped doing that when she discovered make-up and not wanting to be around me at all," Stan said. "But still..."  
  
"We have to switch classes too!" said Kyle.  
  
"Yeah, I don't think I can take six different teachers a _day_!" Kenny said with an exasperated look.  
  
"And we probably won't be in the same classes, either," said Stan sadly. The other boys looked put down, as they'd always been in the same class.  
  
"Well, that serves some good purposes. Example: No Jew boy!" Cartman laughed, smirking at Kyle.  
  
"Shut up, fat ass! I don't want to be in your classes either!" Kyle said defensively.  
  
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Stan's point is that we've been in the same class since.... forever. And now we'll be in a bunch of new classes, with new teachers and new kids."  
  
"Yeah, we're going to be with the kids from other towns too!" said Stan.  
  
"Damn... is that why we have to get up so early?" Cartman said, going back to complaining about getting up early.  
  
Just then, the bus pulled up and the door opened. The boys are momentarily shocked not to see Miss. Crabtree behind the wheel, but a fat man who obviously hadn't showered in days. They all looked at each other, open mouthed.  
  
"You the only kids at this stop?" their new bus driver said in a whiney, nasal voice.  
  
"I think so," said Stan, glancing down the road for anyone else.  
  
"Ok, get in, sit down, and shut up."  
  
They looked at each other again; kind of relieved the new guy had the same bus conduct morals as Miss. Crabtree. They boarded the bus and were relieved to see their old classmates. They made their way to the back, Stan and Kyle sitting in one seat, and Kenny and Cartman sitting in the seat opposite them.  
  
"W-wow, I can't wait t-till middle sch-school. It should be r-really fun," said Butters from the seat behind Stan and Kyle.  
  
"What are you talking about, man? This is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me! I don't think I'll be able to take so much pressure! New teachers, more kids, _more homework_! AHH!" said Tweek frantically from the seat behind Kenny and Cartman. He shakily took a bug gulp from his coffee thermos.  
  
Wendy turned around in the seat in front of Stan and Kyle to talk to Stan. "Stan, we'll still be together, right? Even though we might not be in the same classes and stuff..."  
  
"We'll still see each other after school, or at lunch or something. And who knows, we could still be in the same classes," Stan said. Wendy sighed hopefully and sat back down.  
  
As the bus pulled into the drop-off section of the parking lot, all the kids turned to the windows to get their first look at their new school. It was much bigger than South Park elementary, and there were a lot more buses, with a lot more kids getting off. Everyone glanced at each other nervously, and got off the bus.  
  
As they entered their new school, they were all directed to the auditorium to be given their class schedules. Everyone sat down on the bleachers, and a tall man they assumed was the principal stepped up to the podium.  
  
"Hello, children, and welcome to Sanborn Middle School, or SMS, where you'll take your first steps into adult hood. Hopefully, here you will start to discover who you are and begin to thrive and grow like you never could in your sheltered elementary schools. You are, as of now, entering the seventh grade, and will move on to the eighth grade, and then to high school, where you will determine your lives. So, best get a head start now, and prepare yourself for life, as well as high school, here at SMS..." He said happily, beaming around at them all.  
  
"Dude, this guys a total douche," Stan whispered to Kyle.  
  
Kyle nodded in agreement and smiled. "Yeah, I bet no one's paying attention at all."  
  
"Now, I would like you all to step up here, in just a second, to receive your class schedules, teachers, and placements. Judging by your grades in elementary school, we've placed you into _levels_: three being advanced, two being average, and one being below average. Your teachers will be different for each class: one for English, one for Math, one for Social Studies, one for Science, and one for a Foreign Language. Also will be the "Extra" classes, which you will have one of each day: P.E, Art, Music, Home Economics, Tech Ed, Health, and Computer Tech. These will rotate and change each quarter, and will further be explained by your homeroom teachers. Also open are extra curricular classes, which you will be receiving a list of, and I sincerely do hope you'll join at least one club or team, since I'm sure you're all very talented and I'd hate to see you waste that," he beamed at them again. "Well, now, I want people with the last names that begin with A-E line up at the table labeled as A-E, and F-J, K-O, P-T, and U-Z all line up at their corresponding tables to receive your class schedules and homerooms. Thank you!"  
  
Everyone lined up in their respective lines, and the principal started to wander around talking to various kids. Kyle and Cartman got into the same line, and Stan and Kenny got into the same line.  
  
"Does this mean we're going to be in the same classes?" Kyle asked Cartman.  
  
"I don't think so. I hope not, anyway," Cartman said, smirking. They both take their schedules from the woman in charge. Cartman looked at his angrily. "WHAT THE HELL?" He yelled, shoving the paper in the woman's face. "What is _this_, may I ask?"  
  
"Why, it's your schedule..."  
  
"No, not that, I seem to be in a 'Below Average' class in Math!"  
  
"Well, that's the class you were placed in. If you want, you can take it up with the school board, but that never does any good," she said, obviously not caring. "Next!"  
  
Cartman stalked off toward their friends muttering obscenities, and Kyle followed him, looking over his own schedule.  
  
"What classes did you get in?" Stan said asked immediately when they caught up with each other.  
  
"Level threes..." He said, glancing at Cartman. He looked absolutely furious that Kyle got placed in all above average classes.  
  
"Oh," Stan said, looking at his schedule. "I am in Math and Science."  
  
"I'm in level three on everything but Math and French," said Kenny.  
  
"What level are you in Math?" Cartman said hopefully.  
  
Kenny frowned. "One."  
  
"YES!"  
  
Kenny raised an eyebrow. "That's a good thing?"  
  
"Well, this means you're probably in my math class!"  
  
"Oh, cool," Kenny said, looking slightly happier.  
  
"I'm in level three for Sc-Science and level two for everything else," Butters said.  
  
Tweek came up to them looking distressed. "I can't believe I actually got into level three for English! I always thought I was stupid. AHH! What if they made a mistake?"  
  
"I don't think so, Tweek," said Kyle.  
  
"Good, because it'd be so embarrassing if they came in during class and told me that I was really in level 1 and then all the smart kids would laugh at me..."  
  
"So what classes are we in together?" Stan said, eager to find out if they had any classes together. They all went over to the bleachers and sat down, looking at each other's schedules. "I have Math with Kyle, Social Studies with Butters, English with Cartman, and P.E with Kenny."  
  
"Sweet! I have Math with Stan, English and Health with Tweek, and Health with Cartman," said Kyle.  
  
"I have Math with Cartman, Science with Butters, and P.E with Stan," Kenny said.  
  
"Most of my classes have been said already, except that I have French with Butters," Cartman said disdainfully.  
  
"Whoopee! I'm so glad I'm not alone in all my classes!" said Butters happily.  
  
"Ah! I wish I was with more people in more classes though!" said Tweek.  
  
"Well, we can't really help that," said Kenny.  
  
"Hi, Stan," they heard, and looked up to see Wendy. "Umm, can I see your schedule?"  
  
Stan handed her his schedule, and she looked over it with a frown on her face. "We only have two classes together. Math and P.E."  
  
"Oh... well, that's better than nothing," Stan said.  
  
"And we all have lunch at the same time," said Kyle.  
  
Cartman smirked. "Yeah, and you can have make-out sessions between classes!"  
  
Stan and Wendy glared at Cartman as the principal approached the podium again.  
  
"Now, some of you may be pleased with your schedules, others not so pleased. But don't worry, you can always move up a level, or even two. And you'll make new friends, so don't feel bad if you're not in you're friends' classes. Now, homeroom's about over, normally, but today will just be for getting acquainted with your teachers and classmates, so find your homerooms and go from there. Have a wonderful day, everyone, and have a GREAT experience at SMS!" he said, and everyone left the auditorium. Stan, Cartman, and Butters go one way, and Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, and Tweek go the opposite way.  
  
"What homeroom are you guys going to?" Kyle asked.  
  
Kenny looked at his schedule before answering. "Umm... two thirty-four."  
  
"Sweet! That's my homeroom!"  
  
"I'm going to two fifty-three," said Tweek nervously.  
  
"And I'm going to two twenty-seven. I wonder what Bebe's schedule is; I haven't seen her since we got off the bus..." Wendy said.  
  
They came to a staircase, and went up to the second floor. They passed Wendy's homeroom on the way, and then separated from Tweek when Kyle and Kenny got to where they were going. They were the only ones in the room yet, and they weren't sure if they were in the right place.  
  
"Come on in, boys. You two are the first ones here! I'm your homeroom teacher, Mrs. Sawyer," a blonde lady sitting at a desk said as they entered the room. "I'm also one of the level three English teachers."  
  
"We're both in level three English," Kyle said.  
  
Mrs. Sawyer smiled. She was tall and very pretty, with blonde hair and green eyes. "That's great! Take your seats, boys, the rest of the students should be here any second.  
  
Kyle and Kenny sat down near the windows and watched the other kids come in. They found that they didn't know most of them. Among the kids coming in was Pop Pirrup, which caused them both to sigh and bang their heads on their desks.  
  
"Hello chaps! I'm quite glad I know someone here! It shall make this experience so much more easy knowing people-"  
  
"Shut up, Pip," both boys said at once.  
  
"Righto!"  
  
"Alright everyone, quiet! Now I'm going to hand out the list of extra- curricular activities you can join, and then take attendance," Mrs. Sawyer said once everyone was sitting down.  
  
Later, after homeroom, everyone was yet again in crowded hallways, looking for their classes. Most of the day went by uneventfully, as all they did was meet their teachers and start figuring out the school. At lunch Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Butters, Tweek, Wendy, Bebe, and Pip sat together, although Pip was quite unwelcome.  
  
"So what kind of after school stuff are you guys doing?" said Wendy excitedly. Everyone else just shrugged. "I think I'm going to join the environmental group, S.E.S. It stands for Saving Endangered Species. What do you think, Stan?"  
  
"I think you're a fucking hippie," said Cartman, shoving food into his mouth.  
  
"I didn't ask _you_" said Wendy, wrinkling her nose at Cartman's eating habits. "Stan?"  
  
"I think it's cool," said Stan simply. "I'm probably going to join the football team or something."  
  
"I was thinking of doing b-band," said Butters.  
  
"Maybe I'll try out for cheerleading," said Bebe. "That'd be fun!"  
  
Cartman belched loudly just then, and shoved his tray aside. "This food sucks ASS!"  
  
"Dude, all school food sucks ass," said Kyle.  
  
"But this is worse than our old school food. Middle School food's supposed to be better!"  
  
"That's because Chef's not here," said Stan pointedly.  
  
"Yeah," Kyle said, nodding.  
  
That chatted idly for another half an hour until the bell rang. They separated and went to their classes, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek went to Health, Wendy and Kenny went to the Art room, Stan headed toward French, and Butters went to Math.  
  
"Yay, health," said Kyle, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe they can teach you how to eat right, fat ass!"  
  
"That'd be a miracle," said Tweek.  
  
"Screw you guys, I'm going home," said Cartman, turning to leave the room.  
  
Kyle and Tweek laughed. "You can't, you're too far away."  
  
Kenny and Wendy sat down at an art table with the rest of the class. The teacher was an original-looking woman in her mid-twenties, and she wore a lot of jewelry and a long, flowing dress. Her long, black hair was braided with flamboyant ribbons.  
  
Kenny laughed and leaned toward Wendy. "If Cartman saw her, he'd never call you a hippie again," he whispered, and she laughed quietly.  
  
"Hello children. My name is Miss. Canto, but you can call me Rosetta. I will be your art teacher from now on," the teacher said in a calm voice. "Now, the first thing I'm going to teach you is this 'Unleash your imagination and free your soul.' That explains art in any form, whether is be visual or verbal. It's also the motto for "  
  
"What the Hell is ?" Kenny whispered. Wendy just shrugged.  
  
Later, on the bus ride home, everyone was glad to be back with their friends from elementary school. They happily talked about their exciting, or even terrifying, first day of seventh grade. After getting off the bus, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman each went to their own house.  
  
"How was your first day of middle school, Stanley?" Sharon Marsh asked as Stan walked in the house.  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Do you have any homework?"  
  
"No. It was the first day, mom."  
  
"Make any new friends yet?"  
  
"Nope. Not yet."  
  
"Do you have any classes with your old friends?"  
  
"Some," Stan said, keeping his answers as simple as possible. He didn't want his mom blubbering about how he was growing up too fast. He went upstairs before his mom could say anything else, telling her he'd see her at dinner.  
  
At the Broflovski's, Sheila was waiting for Kyle at the door when he got home. "Hello, Buhbie. How was your day?"  
  
"Ok," Kyle said, using the same tactic as Stan.  
  
"Anything interesting happen?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ike's first day of first grade was great, unless you count the fact that he's smart enough to be in third grade," she said, getting in a huff.  
  
"Ok," he said quickly, and went to his room before he had to listen to her rant about Ike being a genius.  
  
At Cartman's house, Liane was in the kitchen cooking dinner when Cartman came home.  
  
"Hello, Eric," she said as he tossed his backpack on a chair and sighed loudly. "How was your first day of seventh grade, sweetums?"  
  
"It totally sucked ass."  
  
"Now, Eric."  
  
"What? It did!" He whined. "Mom, I got put in a level one class for math! That's for retards! I don't want to be in a retard class!"  
  
"Eric, that's probably the class they thought-"  
  
"BUT MOM!" He cut her off, whining more loudly. "I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A LEVEL ONE CLASS!!"  
  
"Eric!" she said sternly. "You're twelve years old now, and whining isn't going to work anymore, starting right now! It might have worked when you were little, but twelve year olds don't whine and it's very embarrassing when they do! It means they're spoiled and selfish!"  
  
Cartman stared at her for a long time, completely shocked. "I'm going to bed," he said finally, and left.  
  
"Do you want me to bring you up a snack?" she called after him, back to her normal self.  
  
At the McCormick's shack, Kenny just walked right passed his parents to his room and threw himself on his beat-up mattress. He stared at the crumbling ceiling for a while before taking out the drawing notebook his art teacher gave him. She'd given everyone in the class a brand new drawing notebook so they could start getting creative. He barely touched a pencil to paper before his mother came in.  
  
"How was school, Kenny?" she asked in her usual southern accent.  
  
"Fine, I guess," he answered simply.  
  
"That's good. Kenny, I want you to pay attention and do real good from now on, ok?" she said. "I'm counting on you, because you're the only one who has a future in this family. Don't ruin it."  
  
Kenny stared at her, unblinking, as if she were insane. "Umm, ok."  
  
"Dinner's in two hours. Don't stay in your room the whole time," she said, her tone changing quickly from encouraging to stern.  
  
'_That was weird,_' Kenny though to himself after she left. _'It actually sounded like she gives a rat's ass about me.'_  
  
As the sun was setting behind the mountain, the boys were taking a walk and passed the elementary school. They stopped to look at it, almost longingly.  
  
"We took that place for granted, you guys," Cartman said sadly.  
  
"Don't start. You said the same thing when we went to fourth grade, fifth grade, and sixth grade. And every time you did something stupid to "get us back there". Just let it go, Cartman," Kyle said.  
  
"Yeah," said Stan, but he too looked at the elementary school as if it were a long lost friend.  
  
"It's a thing of the past," said Kenny quietly. "We can't go through our lived not accepting change."  
  
"Remember that next time things go wrong, Kenny," Kyle said.  
  
Stan laughed. "Yeah, man."  
  
They were silent for a few more minutes, and finally walked away from the school.  
  
"Seventh grade totally sucks ass," said Cartman, sighing heavily.  
  
_**Author's Note:** I really hope you liked it.... HOPEFULLY you did. I'm not sure if it's any good, although I like it more in prose than script. Maybe that's just me favouring novel format. Anyway, I accept criticism as long as it's constructive. So please make it constructive, and not an all out flame fest! R/R!_


	2. Chapter Two: Kenny's Talent

_**Summary:** Every kid has a tough time going through middle school, and it's no different for Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. Mostly focused on Kenny, this fic follows the boys from their first day of seventh grade to the end of eighth grade (which, I hope, will result in the sequel, High School Sucks Ass).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own South Park! If I did, the show would suck so much, it wouldn't be funny at ALL! So let's all thank the lord for people like Trey Parker and Matt Stone before continuing, and then at the end of this chapter ask them to forgive me for my horrible attempt at a fic...  
**Note:** Ok, so this is the second chapter, and this one's longer by a couple of pages. I like this one better, since it's not so much introductory crap, and there's more Kenny. He's snarky. Emz likes. :D Although I'm still not sure about the flow of things... I'm afraid it's a bit choppy. Maybe that's just me._

**Chapter Two: Kenny's Talent**

It was three weeks after the first day, and Kenny and Wendy were in art class. They were sculpting with clay, and Kenny was getting frustrated.

"God damn it! I'll never be able to do this right!" he said, exasperated. He slammed the clay down on the table, mutilating whatever it was he was trying to make, and Wendy and the other girl at the table looked up.

"It's not that hard, Kenny... all you have to do it move clay around," the girl piped up, showing Kenny her clay pony, which, Kenny noted, at least looked sort of like a pony. His eyes narrowed at the pony, as if it were its fault he sucked.

At that moment, Rosetta, the art teacher, walked over. "Kenny, your art is... new," she said, examining his pile of smashed clay.

"It's not art. It sucks ass. I hate art; I'm so bad at it!" Kenny whined, knowing perfectly well he looked like a hopeless case.

"Kenny, you're just trying too hard. Art isn't like math or science, you have to be free! Don't _try, _don't _think_, just _feel!" _she said, flinging her arms out.  
  
Kenny ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Umm... I guess..."

"WAIT! _Inspiration!_" Rosetta cried, and practically ran to the chalk board. "Class! I've just been _inspired _by a certain student!" she looked directly at Kenny, beaming. "Your homework for tonight is-"

"Thanks, McCormick! You got us homework," said a kid, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Kenny put his head on his desk, angry and frustrated.

"AS I WAS SAYING! Your homework for tonight is to draw a picture!"

"What's the catch?"

"That's it?"

"Yes. I want you to erase your mind, forget everything. Cleanse yourself of all thought, all anger, all depression, all happiness, all love, all hope, all desperation, all pain. Close your eyes, forget, open them, and draw. Just put a pencil on the paper and start making lines! Don't try, don't concentrate, don't think at all!" Rosetta recited dramatically.

The bell went off just then, and everyone got up to leave. Kenny walked up to Rosetta's desk as he was leaving. "Umm... I don't get what you said," he said, then added _'I don't comprehend over dramatization,' _as an afterthought.

"It's really quite simple, Kenny."

"But, I can't do anything if I don't think about it. I need to have some idea of what I'm supposed to be doing." _'Otherwise it'd be something like a multiple personality disorder.'_

"Stop right there, Kenny. Don't do that. Don't worry, Kenny, you can do it. You'll be surprised to realize how easy it is. Now go to class," she told him. Kenny still didn't understand, but he left anyway.  
  
Later, at Stan's house, Kenny was explaining his art homework. "And she gave us homework to draw a picture. But she told us not to think about it."

There was a moment of silence. "...How can you not think about homework?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's fucking sweet! If you're not supposed to think about it, you can't fail! Just draw a smiley face or something and turn it in! It's fucking sweet!" Cartman said excitedly.

"Shut up, fat ass, you don't know what you're talking about," Kyle said angrily.

"He actually does make sense, dude. Why would she give homework you're not supposed to think about? It's a given A," said Stan. Kenny simply shrugged in response.

"Well... I do believe level one math is going quite well for me. Right now we're reviewing long division," Cartman said, bringing the conversation to the subject of himself.

Kyle and Stan stared blankly at Cartman for a moment before laughing hysterically. "LONG DIVISION?? That's fucking stupid! Even for you!" Kyle said in between bouts of laughter.

"Dude, we're starting percentages and you're doing long division!" Stan managed to get out before going back to laughing.

Kenny felt himself going red. "Well, I'm sorry if we're not as sharp in math as you! Stan, I could just as well laugh at you because you're doing grammar in English and I'm doing actual writing!" Kenny said heatedly.

"Yeah!" Cartman said.

"I'm sorry, Kenny," Stan said, looking put down about the English comment. "That insult was more aimed at Cartman. And Cartman, I'm either in the same level as you or higher, so you should just shut your fat, three-chinned mouth!"

"Ay!"

"Yeah, Kenny, we're sorry. Don't get bitchy about it," Kyle said.

"Yeah, well, I'm going to go... need to get started on my homework. Bye, you guys," Kenny said, opening the door to leave.

After he left, the other boys looked at each other. "What's up his ass?" Cartman asked.

"I don't know," Kyle said. "Who cares? I don't give a shit about the kid."

"Yeah, let's get a snack," Cartman said, and they went to the kitchen.

Kenny was in his room, laying on his beat up mattress and staring at the wall. He had a drawing pad and pencil in front of him, and he was flipping through the pages looking despondently at failed drawing after failed drawing. He had put off his art homework, but now that everything else was finished he had to tackle it.

'_I suck so much at this... every time I try to draw, or paint, or anything... I fail miserably,' _Kenny thought to himself. _'If anyone saw this book they'd laugh their ass off, especially the guys. There're places where I even wore through the paper erasing this shit!'_

He sighed and turned to a blank page. "Well, better start forgetting," he said, laughing a little.

He breathed deeply, closing his eyes. He tried to forget about his family and friends. He pushed his childhood memories to the back of his mind. He tried not to think about his mom beating him around and his dad yelling, or Kevin smoking pot at night and not caring that Kenny shared the room and didn't want to smell it. The way the smell of whisky lingered in their house, and the frozen waffle breakfasts. He tried to forget about the way Stan and Kyle didn't seem to care about him, and how he didn't think anyone would care if he died for good.

He closed his eyes tighter, trying to push the surfacing anger away. He couldn't take it; all he could think about were the worst aspects of his life.

"Damn art teacher. If it weren't for her stupid lame ass homework assignment, I'd be hanging with the guys having fun, not sitting here hating my own existence," he said angrily, about to throw the book across the book. "But... I suppose I have to do this. If all else fails, I can just draw a smiley face and pass it in."

He sighed, trying to tap the 'creative force within' and put the pencil to the paper. He tried not to concentrate on what he was doing, and saw lines and shapes unfold and come together. He never once thought, through the whole drawing process, what he would do next or what it might look like. He was interrupted, however, by a knock on the door.

"What?" he said, startled out of his daze.

"You're not in bed yet, _get in bed! _You have school tomorrow!" his mom said before slamming the door behind her.

Kenny knew better than to ask about dinner, because he already knew that they didn't have enough food stamps left to eat dinner that night. He also knew better than to ask about his brother, because he knew that he was down at Stark's Pond smoking with his pot buddies.  
  
He looked down at his drawing, and was completely surprised to see a legitimate sketch looking back at him. The sketch was of two boys that were obviously fighting. One had the other shoved against a wall, and the smaller boy was struggling against the bigger boy's grip with tears streaming down his face. The bigger boy looked like he was really pissed, and was holding his arm like he was about to hit the other boy.

Kenny couldn't believe he drew that. Most of his drawings weren't all that good or realistic, looking more like distorted cartoons. This one was different. It was just a sketch, but it was better than the rest of his drawings. _'I guess not thinking about it does work...' _he thought.

The next day on the bus, Wendy sat next to Kenny looking excited.

"Hey, Kenny, did you do Rosetta's homework last night?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I did too! Only my picture didn't come out very good," she said holding up a drawing that was obviously of her and Stan having mad sex. She was right, it wasn't very good, but it was still extremely obvious.

Kenny laughed a little. "Have you shown that to Stan?"

"Show me what, Wendy?" Stan said, turning around in his seat to face them.

"Nothing!" the girl said shrilly, shoving the drawing in her bag.

Stan frowned, perturbed that Wendy would show Kenny something but not him. But he chose to forget about it and turned back around to talk to Kyle.

"Can I see your picture?" Wendy asked Kenny.

Kenny nodded, and moved to get it out of his bag, but changed his mind. "Actually, I'd rather show you in class."

"Dude, I'm worried about me and Wendy," Stan told Kyle when they were in their first period Math class.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we only have this class and P.E. together, and we don't sit near each other in this class," he said, looking across the room at Wendy. "And Kenny's in our P.E. class, as well as her art class... and she's been talking to him a lot lately, and she showed him something on the bus today that she wouldn't show me..."

Kyle looked at him for a few seconds, before grasping the idea. "Wait, wait, wait... you think Wendy likes _Kenny?_ No way, dude!"

"I don't know. I didn't want to worry about it on the bus, but I've been thinking about it, and I'm just worried."

"Dude, I don't know if you've noticed, but Wendy's totally in love with you! She'd rather die than not go out with you. Sure as Hell she wouldn't go for Kenny. I mean, she's smart and loves animals and the environment and all that shit..." Kyle said. "And Kenny's... well, Kenny's Kenny," he finished lamely.  
  
"Yeah, but what if Kenny's what she's looking for in a guy?"

At lunch, Stan was getting more paranoid every time Wendy spoke to Kenny.

"Kenny, I can't wait to see your picture! It must be something if you keep hiding it!" Wendy said, practically begging Kenny to show her his drawing. He nodded slowly, looking at his tray; he didn't know why he was so embarrassed about showing it to anyone.  
  
"Yeah, either that or it must really suck ass! I want to see it," Cartman said, reaching for Kenny's bag.

"No!" Kenny cried, grabbing his back pack and putting it next to him, out of Cartman's reach.

"You've seen me draw, you poor piece of crap, you know I suck! It can't be worse than my drawings."

"It's not that..."

"Cartman, if he doesn't want to show you, he doesn't have to!" Wendy said angrily.

"So, how about this food, Wendy?" Stan asked, his voice obnoxiously loud and strained.

"What?"

Kyle slapped his forehead. "Idiot..."

After lunch, Kenny and Wendy head to their art class. When they got there, they gave their drawings to Rosetta and sat down. The class chatted idly as Rosetta looked through the pile of papers. Most of them she frowned at, and Kenny suspected a lot of the kids took the Cartman route and drew crap pictures.

"Wendy," she said suddenly, and Wendy looked up. "Your picture... it's romantic."

"Umm... thanks," Wendy said, blushing madly.

"That's why you don't draw sex and pass it in," Kenny muttered.

"KENNY MCCORMICK!" Rosetta cried, causing Kenny to jump.

"What?!"

"Why, Kenny, this is one of the most beautiful sketches I've seen in a long time!" she said, beaming at him. "The pain! The fear! The agony! Truly wonderful!"

'_Why does she have to dramatize everything?' _Kenny thought, noticing people starting to stare at him.

"Everyone examine this piece, you could really learn from Kenny," Rosetta said, handing his drawing out for the students to pass around.

Kenny buried his face in his arms, completely embarrassed. _'Oh my God, no...'_

Wendy let out a small yelp of excitement when she got the picture. "Wow, Kenny! This is awesome! You know, the boy in the picture looks kind of like you, only a little older, I guess."

Kenny hadn't even noticed that.

"Who's the other boy?'

"I don't know. It's just what I drew, remember? We weren't supposed to think about it," Kenny said. Using the assignment as a way to get out of explaining things worked effectively, which was good because he couldn't explain it.

"Yeah," she said, passing the picture along. "You're a really good artist, Kenny. You should do that more often."

"I don't know, it was kind of a pain," Kenny said, trying not to take the compliment badly like he usually did. "It was a really weird feeling... not thinking."

"Yeah," Wendy said wistfully. Kenny looked away, but then looked back at her. Why was she looking at him like that? That was... no, it couldn't be... the way she looked at Stan.

"Last class of the day! Finally!" Stan said when they were in P.E.

"Yeah."

"New Terrence and Phillip on tonight."

"Yeah, can't wait," Kenny said. Should he tell Stan about Wendy?

Just then, Wendy came over from the girls' side of the gym. "Hi Kenny! Hi Stan!"

Stan's eyes narrowed. She said hi to Kenny first.

"OK BOYS AND GIRLS! START RUNNING! TWO MINUTES, STARTING... NOW!" the P.E. teacher shrieked, blowing his whistle.

They all started running around the gym, Stan sprinted ahead, and Kenny tried to catch up.

"Dude! Wait up, I don't want to run with Wendy," Kenny said as he caught up with his angry friend.

"Well, she wants to run with you."

"Stan," Kenny panted.

"Look, I can tell she likes you, so why don't you just go run with her? Make out why don't you?" Stan seethed, sprinting ahead again.  
  
After class, Wendy approached Stan with a worried expression on her face.

"Stan, can I talk to you?"

"Sure," said Stan, happy that Wendy wanted to talk to him.

"Well... I don't know how to start. Well... we only have two classes together... one really, since we don't sit near each other in math," she started nervously.

"Do you want me to request that we have more classes together?"

"No... that wouldn't fix how much we've drifted apart."

Stan stared at her. They'd been at this school not even a month yet and they'd drifted apart?

"Stan, I'm sorry, but I can't be in a long-distance relationship like this," she said dramatically.

"But it's not long distance," Stan said, his sarcastic nature getting the better of him.

"It feels like it is. Well, I just think it would be easier if we broke up."

"WEAK! This is because of Kenny, isn't it!?"

"What do you mean?" Wendy said, obviously pretending to look confused.

"I can't believe you'd break up with me, and at the same time lie!" Stan yelled angrily. "And all because you fucking like that poor white-trash lame ass fag! I fucking can't believe you'd like him instead of me!!"

"Stan, you're being unreasonable."

"I'M BEING UNREASONABLE?"

"You don't understand!" Wendy cried, her eyes shining with tears. "I feel this connection with him that I don't feel with you."

"What? What is it about him that's so great?" Stan spat.

"He's nice, which at the moment, I can't say about you. He's smart, he's artistic, and there's something about him that makes him deep! Stan, I feel like I can have an actual conversation with him!"

"Well, _somebody_ doesn't know Kenny McCormick very well," Stan scoffed. "Let me set the facts straight for you: any interest he's showing in you is all an act to get you in bed with him."

"Don't say that!"

"Wendy, I can't believe you'd want to become a whore."

"I never said I wanted to become a _whore_."

"Being Kenny's girlfriend and a whore is the same god damned thing."

"I really hate you right now, Stan," Wendy sobbed.

Stan didn't answer, and when she ran away he just glared at her retreating back. Kyle ran up to him, looking strained.

"DUDE! What was that about?"

"Stupid whore... she dumped me to go out with fucking Kenny!" Stan fumed.

Kyle stared at him for a moment, and then averted his gaze. "Oh."

"I hate him. I wish he'd die. Kill himself or some lame shit like that."

"Dude, don't say that."

They walked toward the buses as Cartman ran up to them looking overly excited about something.

"You guys, you guys... this is so cool. You know French class? Well, they have French _dictionaries_, see? Ok... well I don't know why, but I was compelled by some evil force inside me... to look up 'fuck'," he said, laughing. "Now I can tell people to fuck off and shit, and they'll have no idea what I'm saying!" He wiped a non-existent tear away. "I love middle school."

Stan and Kyle just glared at him. After a minute, Cartman realized that he probably came in at the wrong time and took the opportunity to piss them off.

"What? Do you both have sand in your vaginas? If so-"

"SHUT UP, CARTMAN!" Kyle yelled. "This isn't the time, you fat fuck!"

Cartman blinked, and put on a look of concern. "Aww, what's wrong?"

Stan sighed and rubbed his temples. "Long story short, Wendy dumped me to go out with Kenny."

There was a moment of silence, which was broken by Cartman laughing hysterically. "Wendy?? Your Wendy? Broke up with you? HA! You've got to be kidding; she said when you got back together after that Token thing that she'd never dump you again. You've known me for like what... ever?? Have I _ever _fallen for something like that?"

"He's not kidding, Cartman. You should've seen the fight they had."

"Stupid god damned whore," Stan muttered.

"Stan, cool off," Kyle told him.

"Whoa... I'm sorry. I mean, it's not a joke if Stan called Wendy a whore. That bites, man... Kenny? Jeez... she's an odd one for sure," Cartman said.

"Whatever," Stan muttered, and boarded their bus.

When they got off the bus, Kenny decided to ask what was up. "Umm... guys? You haven't spoken to me since last period. What's up?"

"Do you want to know what's wrong, Kenny?" Stan yelled, immediately rounding on the blonde. "I'll tell you what the fuck's up! _You're what's up!"_

"Stan..." Kyle said.

"Thanks to you, Wendy broke up with me because she thinks she's better off with you, you shit-faced ass hole!!" Stan screamed at Kenny.

Kenny was speechless. He didn't think Wendy would actually break up with Stan. "Wow... dude... I had no idea... I didn't think-"

"No, Kenny, you didn't. You never do. Screw you, Kenny, I'm going home," Stan said angrily, and turned on his heel and stalked off toward his house.

"AY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Cartman yelled after him. "Sort of."

Kyle looked warily at Kenny, then at Stan's retreating back. "Sorry, Kenny," he said, and ran off after his best friend. "Dude! Wait up!"  
  
Kenny watched Stan slow down and Kyle catch up to him, wondering what he did wrong. It was all Wendy's fault wasn't it? He didn't do anything.

"What if she asks me out?" He asked to no one in particular, despite that fact that Cartman was still there.

"Well, you could always be a pussy good boy and tell her you'd never let her come between your friendship with Stan, which would cause me to call you a gay faggot cock sucker for the rest of your life," Cartman said, grinning. "Or you could be the classic rebel poor kid, and go out with her. Stan would probably beat the shit out of you, but hey, apparently he's absorbed Kyle's anger issues, so it wouldn't surprise me if he killed you."

Kenny just stared at him, wondering which option was better. He didn't think he liked Wendy like that, but he hated being mean, and rejection was really mean. Cartman just nodded and walked off, and Kenny suspected that half the reason he wanted Kenny to go for it was to see Stan twitch.

"Weak," Kenny said weakly, and headed home.  
  
_**Author's Note: **So, tell me, oh kind readers... Was it choppy? Does it seem kind of weird? I'm still unsure how good I am at rewriting scripts into prose. ; Anyway, I accept criticism as long as it's constructive. So please make it constructive, and not an all out flame fest! R/R!_


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